Chapter 361 Questioning (2/4)

Chapter 361 Questioning (24)

Busujima Saeko often wondered what gave her such an uncontrollable bloodthirsty impulse.

What made me feel the indescribable pleasure from the bottom of my heart when I was slashing and destroying others with my wooden sword.

She couldn't understand.

But she knew when the bloodthirsty and violent desire in her heart was strongest - that was when she was very disappointed in herself.

She clearly remembered how entangled and painful she felt in her heart when she first realized that she liked Aoki Si.

These entanglements and pains completely burst out the moment Aokiji drew a clear line with her.

She couldn't help but pick up the wooden knife and wandered through the dark alleys at night again.

She succeeded in attracting the attention of the so-called "sex devil" by using her seemingly weak body at night just like she did in junior high school.

When those well-dressed men stared at him with eyes full of ugly desire and followed him to a remote alley, Busujima Saeko raised his wooden sword again.

This time, she is more skilled than when she was in junior high school.

Cut but not maimed.

Painful, but not fatal.

Once, twice, three times.

Busujima Saeko couldn't even remember exactly how many people he had made lie in the alley and howl in pain on the craziest day a few days ago.

Because those people were following her with the intention of committing violence for some ugly and despicable reasons, so after being crippled by her, there was no trouble for them.

Of course, this also has something to do with her attention to hiding herself.

During those nights, Busujima Saeko felt an unparalleled sense of satisfaction and exhilaration.

Every time she saw those men lying on the ground begging for mercy, blood splattered all over the ground, she felt that all her past sadness and grief were gone.

However.

When one night passed and he returned home and sobered up, Busujima Saeko finally realized what he had done.

She picked up the wooden sword in despair and tried to use her own hands to kill the hand holding the sword.

She thought that doing so would make her stop. When you lose the ability to commit violence, you may no longer have such an uncontrollable impulse to violence.

And if you don't have this impulse, even if you can no longer swing a sword, you can at least let yourself pursue the happiness you can pursue like an ordinary girl - for example, Aoki Tsukasa.

However, the moment she raised the knife and swung it down towards the joint, she regretted it.

The wooden knife missed a point.

At this point, her hand, which was destined to never be able to hold the handle of the knife again, was seriously injured.

She doesn't want to live tomorrow without kendo.

Only at that moment did Busujima Saeko realize how important the kendo that he had been persisting in numbly at first was to him.

Busujima Saeko, who took a leave of absence from school and was struggling at home, felt the warmth from Aokiji again - he actually ran to his own home, taking care of himself like a warm sun, and, clearly Expressed his love for himself.

Then, she cheered up again, began to suppress her bloodthirsty impulse, regarded everything as a nightmare, and tried hard to accept Aoki Si's favor. Likewise, she tried hard to express her love for Aoki Si.

However, whenever she couldn't help but express clearly that she wanted to become a couple with Aokiji, she instinctively controlled all these impulses.

She couldn't imagine that if she accepted Aoki Si and lived happily with Aoki Si. After having countless happy memories, Aoki Si knew her experience and the terrifying beast hidden in her heart, and chose to leave.

She might actually turn into a monster.

Busujima Saeko felt that Aokiji was like a swamp.

Every time she tried to break free, she would fall deeper.

She tried to maintain the distance between the two at such a stage, where they liked each other but did not go too deep - it was not that she did not want to go further and gain more happiness, but she was afraid that if she went further, she would not be able to help it. Tell it all.

Aokiji's words were really evil, making her always open her heart unconsciously.

It would be good if he could accept himself like this, but Busujima Saeko always thought that he was not worthy of Aoki Tsukasa. He is so lovable, so good, so gentle, but he has a devil hidden in his heart. Even though he looks perfect on the outside, how can he get real happiness?

Maybe it will become a new burden for him.

It would be even worse if he couldn't accept it.

Every time Busujima Saeko thought about the scene of Aokiji leaving with disbelief on his face, despair and disgust, he would be so shocked that he would break into a cold sweat, and his mind would go dark.

But, how come things have reached this point again?

With the arrival of Busujima Toshio, Busujima Saeko's inner jealousy towards him, her disgust towards her father, and her disgust towards herself boiled over again.

Whenever Busujima Saeko thinks about what she did when facing Busujima Toshio, and how Aokiji might have noticed something, she feels extremely uneasy.

When Busujima Toshio flew away the wooden sword, all his efforts were like bubbles being blown away, and unspeakable emptiness and despair struck again.

Busujima Saeko could sense that the bloodthirsty and violent impulse in her heart was rising uncontrollably again, just like when she and Aokiji almost became passers-by.

But this time, when this violent impulse came, she once again tried to keep Aoki Si away from her.

She thought that she could adjust everything, no matter what method she used, she would be able to disguise herself again, and then enjoy the happiness that could disappear at any time with Aoki Tsukasa again.

"What on earth are you thinking!"

This familiar yet unfamiliar voice was like a thunder, waking her up from her own world.

For the first time, Aokiji got angry at her.

Busujima Saeko raised her head in confusion. Aokiji's face was full of pain, pity, and confusion. Although his eyes were a little angry, they were more concerned.

"Zezi, what are you thinking about?" Aokiji repeated, but the anger in his words was much less, and more of sadness.

Busujima Saeko just looked at him blankly, his eyes dull.

Aokiji stretched out his hand and held her face, his tone was puzzled and sad: "Why did Saeko drive me away?"

"Am I not worthy at all, and can't I be relied upon by Saeko?"

Aokiji looked into Busujima Saeko's eyes and looked at her as if she had been abandoned by the world. He couldn't help but asked a little rudely: "Who am I like this? What kind of pain or despair does Saeko carry?" , I can share the burden together, and we can all work hard together!"

"Why! Why do you have to carry it all by yourself, with tears falling into your stomach and unwilling to flow out?" Aokiji held her cold face and exchanged glances with her, but her eyes made him feel strange.

"Zezi. Obviously you don't think so, right?"

Aokiji's words finally made her react.